First Steps

You are not alone. We know your pain and we want to walk with you through it all. We understand how difficult and heavy it can be for you. As the wife or couple who is dealing with pornography head on, multiple issues have come to the forefront of your life. Below you will find some helpful resources to help you process and heal as a wife or couple.

This section is for those of you who have chosen to fight as pornography has crept into your marriage. We know that the struggle as a couple is incredibly tough and at times seems impossible but at Every Man's Battle we hold to the fact that with God all things are possible. We admire your courage to address these issues together. God will honor your commitments as you fight through this struggle as a couple. Times may be tough but God will work to bring you both closer through this pursuit. As a couple you may be at many different points in the process of tackling these issues. Below you will find some steps to work through as a couple.

There are thousands of situations for couples who are facing the issue of pornography. Whether as a couple you have an unhealthy habit of viewing porn together, are reconciling a relationship after a split up, or are dealing with a first time confession from a spouse - you are not alone. We are here to help whatever you are facing in your relationship.

• Talk - CALL: 1-800-NEW-HOPE (639-4673) to talk to a professional today and get on track for recovery.
  It is time to talk it out. The most common slip up that happens in a marriage is miscommunication and non-communciation. If you are holding it in, then it is time to get it out. If you have miscommunicated, it is time to get it right. Set up time in which you and your spouse can talk without interruptions - turn off the mobile phones, get a babysitter, turn the TV off, stop the chores and talk. You have to be fully present when this happens or you will continue the pattern of miscommunication/non-communciation.
  
  
• Seek Counsel
  Sign up for an Every Man's battle workshop or Every Marriage Restored at the New LIfe Weekend.
  
  
• Love
  Till death till we part, right? As a couple you must move toward loving each other through this fight. The easiest and sometimes worst reaction or continued attitude toward each other is anger. The opposite of anger is love. The display of this love does not have to be all hallmark style with cute sayings and flowers, but it is a consistent attitude of care, compassion and tough love. As a couple a commitment to move away from bad attitudes and anger, and move toward love, must be made.
  
  
• Get a filter.
  If accountability isn't enough, if you feel you are not yet strong enough, GET A FILTER.
  
  
• Plan
  Sit down and write out a plan. All to often we say we are going to change or do something differently but we never stick to it. Write out a plan to tackle the issue of pornography as a couple and both sign. You are a team and each person must make commitments to handle their portion of the fight. Yes, usually it one party that has to make the first commitment but without a plan to follow through with this commitment it will not happen.