What's in Your Hand?
"Then the Lord said to Moses, 'What is that in your hand?' 'A staff,' he replied. God said, 'Throw it on the ground.'" - Exodus 4:2 (NIV)
I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering what some obscure Old Testament verse has to do with recovery, and particularly recovery in the sexual integrity realm. Well, as we look at it a little more closely, I think you’ll see it has a lot to do with it. At this point in his life, Moses was a shepherd, and the shepherd’s staff would have been one of the most useful tools he possessed. So first and foremost, it represented his identity. Every shepherd had one, it was the thing that identified them from other people with other occupations. Secondly, it represented his source of income. It was the thing that kept the sheep in line, and that kept them from wandering off or getting into dangerous situations. It was the thing that enabled him to do his job, and earn a living. And thirdly, it represented his influence on other people, as we see later when he uses it to, through God’s power, part the Red Sea. In short, the staff represented the very essence of Moses.
Give me your whole life… Who you are! What you do! How you act!
So when God tells Moses to throw it down on the ground, it’s not just to perform some fancy trick with a snake, it’s a way of saying, “I want you to give me your whole life, who you are, what you do, and how you act. I want you to throw it down before me and let me have it, and let me make you into the man I want you to be.” What’s your identity? Is it the good father and husband at church, but the one who flirts with and can’t keep his eyes off the secretaries at work? God wants you to throw down that which identifies you with sexual impurity; let Him have it, and let Him change you.
Or how about your source of income? Are you in a job that pays well but is adding to your internet pornography struggle that you can’t seem to get a handle on? Afraid to step out in faith that God has a better job somewhere that will boost your recovery rather than hinder it? God wants you to throw it down, let Him have it and let Him change you.
Or how about your sphere of influence? Do you have leadership gifts that you know God has blessed you with, but you can’t seem to break that addiction to prostitutes or massage parlors? You know you could be a good influence over many people, but right now your gifts are just being wasted? God wants you to throw it down, let Him have it and let Him change you.
Throwing down sexual sin requires one thing: submission to God.
Throwing down sexual sin requires one thing: submission to God. It requires saying, “God, you know best, and I’m going to give it to you.” And the best way to “give it to God” is to follow the action plan that Joe gave you at Every Man's Battle. It requires spending time in God’s Word and in prayer. It requires having an accountability relationship, and a support group of other strugglers. It requires meeting with a spiritual mentor for guidance, and it may require seeing a professional Christian counselor to get at some of the deep-seated wounds that you haven’t felt comfortable dealing with.
Most of all it requires saying, “God, everything I am and have is yours, and I throw it down before you, and give it to you.” Then you’re ready to be sexually pure, and ready to be used in a mighty way by God.
To find a Christian counselor or coach in your area, just call 1-800-NEW-LIFE.
by Dave Boyle
Is a struggle to try to stay away, I had stop, but it keeps creeping under my life and is destroying my marriage. I need God in my life and I love my wife dearly, bill can be happy with that, but eventually God will show that HE should be the center of his life. I will pray for him, Thanks God for people like you that cares about every man's battles.
A healthy part of your relationship?
That's what my husband told me when we were first engaged. That it would had spice to our future marriage.
I had to admit,at first, I was a little curious. Not for long. It made me feel so devalued.
I ended up being compared to every women he saw. I was raped by my husband twice the first year we were married. (Because he wanted to "experiment.") He despised me. Later when we had children, he ignored them.
He went through cycles where I would leave because I would refuse to share my marriage bed with any one else but him, and him with me. Then he would promise to stop.get better for awhile. He promised he would get help. (He did not.)Then he would be cruel to me. Then I would discover he was using porn, womanizing, etc.
Then I would leave...etc.
I refuse to enable him any longer. I LOVE HIM, but I also love our kids. I love myself enough to refuse to put up with this behavior any longer. He has three more months to follow up with everything his counselor assigned him to do. (A total of six months to complete.) Yes, this time he is going to counseling. No, he really has not made much progress on his promises to me .
This is not on tearing our marriage apart, but our children too. My husband feels like he's beyond God's love. (He's not of course.) He is not beyond my love. (I'm willing to work it out if he will.) I hope that in three months we are all still together. Not shuttling our children between to households. Our children deserve to have both parents 100% of the time. Not each of us at 50%.
I tell you this so you will understand that porn IS NOT harmless. IT WILL destroy your relationship, your girlfriend's self esteem and trust and your relationship with children you have or may have.
And then as pornography is destroying everyone you love;. You realize IT HAS destroyed you.
(Your girlfriend may be 'interested' now; but she desires to please you. Why? Because she loves you.)
Please love her and yourself enough to stop.
You both deserve so much more from eachother.
I wish you both well.
It is a destroyer, I know . My marriage is greatly damaged from it and my selfishness. I wish that I had never indulged in it. But sadly I have , and it is a long road to trust again. The trust is gone and it is hard to get back, my life has changed but it will take sometime to heal that part of my relationship with trust. I pray that it will return and if she still wants to even walk this journey with me, so far all I can do is change my self with the help of the Lord and keep doing what is right.