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‘If only” is a haunting phrase. It implies that you failed and that you wish you could go back and do things differently.
When you dare to see the truth and accept responsibility for your life, you may feel sad and ashamed. You may regret your irresponsibility and destructive behavior and wish you could erase past mistakes. The Bible is...
Do you have an older sibling? It can be difficult to live up to the high standards set by older brothers and sisters. It can be equally difficult, and sometimes more painful, to live down the reputation of a notorious or embarrassing older sibling. James and Jude are two men in the Bible who had to deal with both challenges. Their older...
The story line for myself and many Christian men wanting to achieve sexual integrity often feels like an endless pattern of short-term successes and long-term failure. Exasperated, I turned to God crying out, “remove this thorn!” But He didn’t. Hey God, why not? If God is good, and He is; if God is love, and He is; then what’s up with that?...
I was smitten from my first sight of him. The first time I held my newborn son in my hands the tears began to well up in my eyes. A deep sense of love enveloped me when I looked into his amazing eyes. I loved that little guy with everything within me. I thanked God for him and I pledged him back to God from that moment. I was struck with the...
Do you feel like your being swallowed up by life? Fasting can be an effective means of keeping you from being consumed by your surroundings. Daniel’one of the leading Jewish young men taken into captivity by King Nebuchadnezzar’undertook several disciplines in order to maintain his faith and identity. His decision to fast was one of the most...
Men, let’s get honest for a moment. Too many of us travel through life basing our decisions on how they make us feel and what you experience. We don’t study God’s Word enough and spend too little time in prayer.
Consequently, we have very little knowledge of the Good Shepherd who beckons us to follow Him, no matter how we feel and regardless of...
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - from First Things First by Steven Covey
Visual stimulation is a common struggle—so common, in fact, that I’d say it’s almost universal. If you’re a man serious about sexual purity, your inner...
Men tend to be highly visual. Consequently, they also tend to be very susceptible to sexual temptation when it’s presented visually. Put bluntly: most men have eyes that follow every short skirt that walks by. This presents a huge obstacle to marital intimacy. One disgruntled wife put it simply: ‘Men are pigs.’ And to the extent we choose our...
Proverbs 10:9 contains a wonderful promise for you’a promise worthy t think on. The text reads like this: ‘The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.’
In other words, the immediate, day-to-day benefit of the man who walks with an undivided heart before God is security.
And why wouldn’t it be? The...
King Asa lived at a time when the Israelites had given themselves over to idolatry. They basically thumbed their nose at God and believed their way of living, contrary to His instructions, was right.
But when the king heard the message of the prophets, he destroyed the idols the people were worshipping. Asa restored the altar of the Lord. He...
The masculine stereotype demands that men are healthy, strong, and self-sufficient. Admissions of weakness are seen as contradictions of manliness. Yet listen to these findings by Dr. David Forrester: • By age six, boys perceive themselves less vulnerable to illness and injury than girls.• Men experience more accidental injuries...
Who am I? Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? What have I been designed to do? What is my identity? Perhaps the runaway success of Rick Warren’s book The Purpose Driven Life indicates that incredible numbers of people are searching for the answers to those same questions. Every man battles with these same issues every day. Steven...
Psalm 119:9: “How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Thy word.”
Matthew 5:8: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”
Pursuing purity is a reality for every believer in Christ. Yes, even those who struggle with sexual addiction and lust. What seems impossible with man is possible with God. God is able to...
Take gambling-obsessed Las Vegas, drug-crazed Amsterdam, and the super-sexed red-light district of Bangkok. Now roll them together. That approximates the reputation of Sodom and Gomorrah.
God decided to take action against these cities. Abraham pleaded with God to halt His judgment so long as fifty righteous men could be found in them. At the...
What are some of the elements of building strong male friendships?
Authentic. Male friendships that go the distance are authentic. Be yourself and be real. Allow the real you to emerge. Take down masks that hide your true self from others. Strong friendships grow where the roots go deep, down to the depths of our heart. Don’t allow yourself to...
We all have inherent weaknesses that make us vulnerable to particular kinds of sin, don’t we? That means something that’s a snare for one man may be completely harmless for another. But one thing we all have in common is that we each must accept responsibility for ourselves. That means you need to guard against anything that exploits our...
There is a word in the English language that I have personally experienced and, over the years, have also found to be true for men almost universally. The hardest word for the male gender to accept is a 4-letter word. It begins with the letter H. Can you say H-E-L-P? Or should I write HELP! Although I have no research that proves this to be...
Men, establishing personal boundaries is imperative to your spiritual freedom and vitality. These boundaries should be intentional and thought out ahead of time; while in the midst of temptation is no time to attempt to put them in place. They should be determined by and measured against God’s word. And finally, boundaries should be...
Say, “When”
A cartoon that recently got my attention depicted a client exclaiming to his counselor, “I’m learning how to relax, doctor—but I want to relax better and faster. I want to be on the cutting edge of relaxation!” I smiled on the outside but a deeper sense of fatigue prompted a time of personal reflection. I was feeling overwhelmed by...
Trigger mechanisms are painful emotions that are not adequately identified and which lead to compulsive thinking and addictive behaviors (or tension reducers). All people look for ways to reduce the stresses of life. Some chill out in a whirl pool while others cozy up with the latest novel. Some drop in at Starbucks and others drop dead from...
Do you like to live within limits? Chances are, if you checked your Sunday school answers at the door, you answered no. Sometimes it becomes very easy to think like our individualistic culture and say, “everything I want can and will be mine.” We may begin to think very much like an entitled two-year old whose favorite word is “mine.”
We are made for relationships. The Bible is full of all kinds of relationships: relationship with God, towards others, and even towards ourselves. The trinity themselves are a model of relationship. Even more than that, it is a model of intimacy.
It has been said that people who have addictive tendencies are much more aware of their spiritual...
A man once said to D. L. Moody, ‘The world hasn’t yet seen what God can do with a man fully devoted to Him.’ Moody responded, ‘I’m that man!’ One of the differences between Moody’s generation and young men today is that sexual temptations are much more intense now than they were then.
Dads, what if your son were kept free from this draining...
Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. Ever since I was a little boy I have felt the excited anticipation of Christmas day approaching. There were the traditions of church services, singing carols, drinking eggnog (non-alcoholic, of course), and lots and lots of wonderful food. The sights, the smells, the sounds – they all filled...
I was smitten from my first sight of him. The first time I held my newborn son in my hands the tears began to well up in my eyes. A deep sense of love enveloped me when I looked into his amazing eyes. I loved that little guy with everything within me. I thanked God for him and I pledged him back to God from that moment. I was struck with the...
The ‘rules’ practiced in today’s business world aren’t always the same as God’s rules, are they? Are you getting caught up in the game, trying to get as much as you can’are you tempted to cheat others or not give them their fair share? God will hold his men’you and I’accountable for this. We must take responsibility if we’ve sinned this way.
Discomfort, pain, conflict, spiritual warfare’these are aspects of reality in a fallen world. Healthy faith recognizes them as biblical realities, calling us to avail ourselves of the reality of Christ’s help and presence amidst them.
Being a man with healthy faith certainly doesn’t mean you’ll always like reality, or that you should become...
There are two universal qualities that are foundational to this week’s topic. First, every man having been made in God’s image and likeness is a person of dignity. Then God spoke to Adam and said, “Every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat” (Genesis 2:16-17). Adam then made...
The United States Advisory Board for Social Concerns shows that minors read over 70 percent of all pornographic magazines. Further estimates indicate that most hard-core porn viewers are under twenty years of age. To a large extent, then, our nation’s young people are financing the pornographic industry.
Further still, adults who seek...
It's easy to forget that many men who are working to maintain sexual purity are single men. There's a perception that the majority of men in recovery are married because they have more to lose. I, therefore, applaud all men in recovery and welcome the reminder that some are yet single.
I find that, if left unaddressed, many single men in...