Couples - Recent Blog Posts
Recently in Bogota, Colombia you may have heard there was a big explosion outside a radio station in the centre of the city. I’ve been living in Bogota for nearly 8 months and this is my first experience of any bombs, shooting etc etc. The same day after the explosion took place I went to meet a friend and we were walking to grab a bit to eat...
Porn addiction for married men could cause them to lose their intimacy with their wives. Instead of resolving their problems together, he will go into a fantasy world where she would not be able to reach him. Understanding and communication will be lost. The husband, instead of asking what needs to be done to make the relationship happy again...
This blog is from our friend Sarah Valente @ Kingdom Twindom. You should see more stuff from her as the time goes on. Her story is very powerful and I know that there are many here who can benefit from her amazing boldness to stand before God and all of us. She is willing to open up all of the doors in her life and let you look in. So please...
People ask often “how can my viewing of porn affect others around me. I watch it alone; it’s just me and the porn this can not possibly affect others.” However your actions and habits affect everyone around and your relationship with them. We hope that with each section we can bring some light to each area and how it affects you and others in...
Over the last couple of weeks I have been really struggling with stress. This stress has been caused by numerous things piling up around me with my work and personal life. Between going to work and online college, I have honestly neglected my marriage and most importantly my relationship with God.
My relationship with my wife is very important....
There are some many other things I would rather do then laundry. I know I am going to get some flak for this but I am so grateful my wife does the laundry. When I was single I did, put the dirty clothes in the dryer with dryer sheet to make the smell go away style of laundry and only did laundry in times of desperation i.e.; empty sock and...
As a couple how do you work through recovery for both you and your spouse? The answer is; one day at a time. During the next two weeks Darcy and I will talk about how both of us got through our recovery and healing one day at a time. The first week Brian will hit on how he did it this way.
When we first started our healing as a couple I wanted...
Tom spies a note on the counter "Went to run a few errands, be home around 6 and I have a surprise for you...xoxo" A smile creeps across Tom's face, but not because of the hugs and kisses nor the surprise, but because he knows he has 45 minutes to visit his favorite solo-girl website before his wife gets home.
She arrives home later and...
You know not a lot of people are not willing to talk about their sexual relationship and heaven forbid if you talk about sex in church. Now don't get me wrong I have seen much improvement in the church taking on this subject but, it is still not enough not even close.
Brian and I have talked about this before with people, couples, and with each...
Have you ever when driving, glanced in your rear-view mirror and realized that the person behind you must be late for work, or an important appointment, because they are riding your tail so close you can see the anxiety and frustration on their face? Maybe they are in the middle of a phone conversation that’s apparently upsetting them, or...
Have you ever seen the “Certified Pre-Owned Vehicle” sticker on a car? Or have you ever pulled the carfax report on a used vehicle you were going to buy? Having this information on a vehicle not only gives you a heads up it gives you security in knowing whether or not the vehicle is worth buying. Wouldn’t it be great if there was something...
I’ve been thinking about what the most difficult struggle is being married to a lust/porn addict. I could answer several things I suppose. The insecurity of the relationship might be one answer. The never truly knowing for sure what may be around the next corner for us. The feeling that the trap door may swing open at any moment and I’ll fall...
What does it mean to be free? Where is freedom?
Can we find it? How do we find it? Who is a free person?
What do they look like? How does a free person live their life?
I want to take a look at this word Freedom and talk about what it really means to be free.
Freedom can mean many things to many different types of people. Whether it's freedom...
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything for this blog. Why? Because I’ve been busy of course. You know busy right? Apparently, we’re all busy today, super-busy in fact so busy we can’t get everything or maybe anything done.
I’m in my third year at University getting my Bachelor of Arts in Religious Studies taking courses in Hermeneutics,...
Marsha from Porn to Purity has been through the ups and downs of this addiction as a wife. She is right to the point and very open about what she has been through. We hope that you can get something really good from this blog. Brian Darcy
When I was pregnant with both my boys, my already acute since of smell was magnified by 1000. I could...
Here is a blog from one of our friends at porntopurity.com Jeff and Marsha are another couple who have been down the path of recovery. They now share their lives with others to let others know thay are not alone in this battle.
The most frequent question I am asked by wives is “Is there hope for my marriage?” My answer is always “yes”...
One of the hardest parts of sexual sin is dealing with the consequences. They often come in the form of shame, regret, self-hatred, embarrassment, disgust, and hopelessness. They aren’t always internal feelings either, they can be about the way your sin affects others - hurt loved ones, divorce, loss of a job, loss of trust or loss of respect...
Over time porn took the place of so many things in my life. I had become blind to all the things around me because I had started to believe the lies it was telling me.
Lies like:
"What's a little porn going to do to you? Not like it could hurt any one."
Yep; I fell for that one hook, line, and sinker. The fact of the matter was that it was...
My wife and I have a 19-month-old boy.
He is just starting the throwing tantrums and taking swings at people stage, and gets really frustrated when he doesn’t get what he wants. Man it sucks when he throws a tantrum or takes a swing at you. And it’s even more embarrassing when it happens in public. We love him so much, but it’s still a bummer...
Feeling like you are not heard, or misunderstood, is one of the fastest paths to loneliness. When we don’t believe that another person really knows or understands our heart, we can get lost in a crowd, feel all alone. Many men who struggle sexually will know exactly what I am talking about; this may be his daily experience. Tragically, it is...
There is a difference between a “relapse” and a “slip”.
“relapse” – when you are back to living the lifestyle of the addiction
“slip” – when you act out but return to recovery relatively quickly
A slip may be one time or a “binge” for a number of days, but it results in a return to recovery and openness about the slip. In a relapse, the addict...
I heard this song from Switchfoot for the first time the other day. I am not able to write the most amazing words and often struggle when it comes to these blogs. But Switchfoot nailed how I felt inside and the battle that took place so often with me, God, and porn. I know I look back at this now and realize I should have stood up and not...
Not to long ago Darcy and I had a chance to take a trip to California without the kids. This gave us some time to talk and reflect a bit about what we had been through and how things are going now. One topic that we talked about was a question people have asked more lately.
The questions was "Did you love Darcy when you were addicted to...
“Father we pray that this sin would no longer exist and that you would remove it from our lives. We ask that the temptations and thoughts disappear and that our marriage be restored the way it should be. We pray this in you your sons name; Amen"
As a couple healing from the scars of sexual addiction we have prayed many times for God to remove...
So here we are; this week on December 2nd it will be 4 years of sobriety for me. Darcy and I are very excited about this milestone in our healing. We look back and see good times, bad times, and some very uncomfortable times as well.
One of the things that we often look back at is this blog for the site. So many times we have sat at the...
There are many things pornography promises. Pornography can promise a temporary satisfaction. Pornography can promise fantasy. Pornography can even promise an escape from realism. It can promise for that one very moment you can leave all your cares behind, and concentrate on that one distraction.
The kids screaming? Gone! A fight with the...
So here you are heading downtown to an appointment minding your own business and you turn onto the next street. You look up and you notice that cars are driving on the wrong side of the road and right at you. Then your head clears up for a quick second and you realize that you are heading down a one way road and you are headed in the wrong...
Reading through some sites this week and I cam across this one from Family Dynamics Institute and wanted to share it with the couples here who may entertain watching porn together as a couple.
On occasion a person will explain that he and his wife watch pornography together to sexually arouse one another. He vigorously defends his position....
We have blogged about the lies of porn before and know that they are the lies of the devil. We ran across this blog and thought we'd share it with you. - Brian & Darcy
I have come into contact with thousands of sex addicts over recent years. I myself was bound up in sexual addiction for 13 years. In all my interactions with the issue of...
Over the last several months we have read and replied to several spouse confessions that are posted on the website. The stories are different and unique in their own way but, they all have so many similarities. While reading a confession recently it hit me how similar these stories are when you peel away the outer layer and look at the core. ...